Skip to main content

Journal Entry from A Young Man Diagnosed with Cancer




Following is an entry from Mathew’s journal, June 2014. He is reflecting on how this started.


“I fell asleep on my Grandmother’s couch and had disturbing dreams.
-A couple of hours later, I got a call from the nurse practitioner. She asked how I was doing, I wasn’t doing any better, and she told me to go to the ER.
-Once I was checked into the hospital, I told them I was reacting the Horizant

(I have edited part of this because he has confused Horizant with another medicine he is receiving at this time).

The Doctor smiled at me, fittingly and pressed on my abdomen near my liver. I screamed out in pain; a pain I did not know was possible. Then she had me rushed away to get an abdominal scan.

(When this same Doctor came in to give us the results of the scan, she looked frightened, as she should have, since pressing down on Mathew like that could have caused tremendous problems. Again, she that assumed he was having liver problems due to his own misconduct).

-The Doctor looked down at me and said, “I believe you have a sizable tumor.”

I felt like I had been lied to. I had a huge sense of disbelief and figured that when I was admitted that someone would come and tell me it was a huge mistake. Nobody ever came in once I was admitted to telling me it was a mistake, in fact, I did have a huge tumor, and everyone in the hospital was there to confirm the terrible news.”




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

About this Blog, A Journey Through Sarcoma

Confections for Cats, A Journey through Sarcoma is a chronicle of my son's journey through Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Sarcoma. It is intended to educate and inspire by using Mathew’s thoughts and feelings, dreams and fears through a variety of mediums; art, music, and writing. Through factual experience, what we learned and what we wish we had known. Mathew’s desire was to give meaning to his journey and in the process help anyone else on a similar path. The last possible explanation in my mind for my son’s health problems was cancer. Even the words “the scan shows a large mass” didn’t lead me to conclude cancer and when the cancer diagnosis was confirmed, I still wasn’t prepared. My Mother is a breast cancer survivor and my sister Elizabeth passed away three years after her breast cancer diagnosis. I thought I knew what cancer treatment and living with cancer looked like, but none of us could imagine or be prepared for how all semblance of routine and normalcy had alre...
Post a Comment
Read more

When a Cancer Patient Has a Medical Emergency

3 Days in the DRC, Part 1 If you haven’t read my first post about the DRC at Moffitt and how it works, since Moffitt does not have an ER, you can read about it here.  https://confectionsforcats.blogspot.com/2018/04/neutropenic-fever-after-ie-chemo-and.html In summary, the DRC is where an existing Moffitt patient is directed to go if they have a medical emergency.  Usually, we would be there a few hours or overnight (since we arrived at midnight or shortly afterward) until they had a room for Mathew on the ward. This particular visit Mathew stayed in the DRC three days. As mentioned in my other post, the DRC has maybe two rooms with a bathroom; otherwise, one bathroom for about a dozen patients. In Mathew’s case, a patient with a lowered immune system.  This time Mathew was in the room furthest from the bathroom.  When inpatient, we had a routine for getting him to the bathroom. First, he needed the IV unplugged (often quickly) and most times, I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Chemo Bell at Moffitt Cancer Center

Bells ring.  Bells, chime, toll, peal, resonate and resound. Bells foretell, warn and celebrate. The Chemo Bell The Survivor Bell Cancer Centers have one or several large bells, each with a large clapper. They are mounted on the wall and when a patient receives their last chemotherapy or radiation treatment for cancer they ring that bell. Mathew and I heard the Chemo Bell in the Infusion Center at Moffitt ring one time. Early on our journey. Everyone clapped and cheered. Mat and I stopped and looked at the bell that day and I thought at that time, it was a possibility for Mathew. Bells have a vibration. When a chemo bell rings, when a person survives cancer (even if it’s for a short time) they resound for the rest of us. Their survival reverberates and gives the rest of us hope.  I found another chemo bell on the 5th floor at Moffitt, in the hallway, past the patient rooms.  Next to the chemo bell was a copy of a photo of a patient surrounded ...
Post a Comment
Read more