Confections For Cats

Mathew had always been a worker. He worked 1 1/2 jobs while attending Junior College. He worked at a local video store and at Dean Johnson’s Music Studio ,  where he had taken guitar lessons for many years.   Y ou can see a picture of Mathew from these recital pictures . There he is, 5 pictures down on the left.  His second two years at St Leo University   H e worked one full-time job, was Editor of the school newspaper, the Lions’ Pride, in addition to writing, researching and his music. So sometime in that first week or so at Moffitt, Mathew asked Dr. Gonzalez when he would be able to go back to work.  The doctor’s response was “You won’t be working anytime soon. Not with the treatments you will be given.” A few weeks later, once we had a diagnosis and Mathew was moved to 5 North for chemo, the Social Worker helped him apply for Social Security Disability.  ** TIP** Mathew was approved for disability in two weeks. I was under the im...

Within days of Mathew’s admission to Moffitt, love, and support from so many people started pouring in. Throughout the year, it continues, and since our world is filled with diverse situations and people, this support reflects those differences. My family is Catholic, so my Mom and Dad brought in prayer cards. A dear friend of my sister, his Mother, sent A Special Healing Gift. Mathew was enrolled in the League of Saint Anthony to be remembered in daily masses and prayers. Tibetan Nuns on the other side of the world were praying for him. Soon a small table was set up with these gifts and cards, eventually, it would become a healing altar. Many faiths were represented on this alter and Mathew felt so blessed that so many people held him in their thoughts and prayers.  I was reminded during this time, what I had learned many years ago, that prayer is an action word.  James 2:14-26 “ 17  So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.”  *** **...

I have been having some trouble this week working on posts for the blog. For several reasons:  - Jan 15th is the third anniversary of Mat’s passing.  - The part of his journey I am at right now is a difficult time.  - Waiting, hoping and pushing for things to get moving.  - Mathew’s condition was so tenuous.  - This is the time when Dr. Knight, the pain and palliative doctor, came in to tell Mathew that he probably isn’t going to survive this cancer.  - And when Mathew made his bucket list. This isn’t a linear process. I have copies of texts, journals, The Notebook, medical paperwork and more. Every so often I take the stack I have set aside (I have a few bins full of paper information) and am working on, sort out and rearrange by subject or timeline. Then, I make notes on the next few posts and write them. I found myself obsessing over the exact timeline. I have to let that go and know that you will understand if I mix up what ha...

Hierarchy of Caregivers This post took me all day to write, from 6 in the morning to 8 at night. The typing of the words only took approx. 15 minutes, but it has taken me all day to process the emotions. I had read this journal entry months ago, but it wasn’t until I wrote this that everything settled in. There are caregiver tips here.  •  Insight into family dynamics during a stressful time. •  How important it is to put our own needs and emotions aside while caring for someone so ill. •  The lesson I would think Mathew would expect me to learn. •  I could berate myself for the rest of my life for hurting him in any way or I can learn to see these opportunities as an opportunity to be a blessing to someone at a time of need and not a burden. I think as we progressed through this journey, we did learn, some of us more than others and in different ways. It’s what Mathew would expect from us as well as himself. Mathew’s sudden and unex...

Texts between my friend Kristen and myself I share these texts to show our anxiety, waiting and innocence. We are at Moffit now I am so anxious for him to start being treated. Sent March 1 That’s great! He will start feeling much better after  those treatments! When do they plan on starting? Rec’d March 1 No plan yet. Driving me crazy. Sent March 1 Are they still waiting for the biopsy to come back? Rec’d March 1 Does Moffitt have a plan yet? Rec’d March 3 No Sent March 3 No final diagnosis. Sent March 3 I was picking up slides and x-rays and scans earlier, to bring to Moffitt. Suddenly feel very discouraged. He’s sleeping, so that’s good. Supposed to do some surgery today…if they fit him in….to put in the stent to stop the bile backup. The other day they drained fluids out of his lung and his legs have swollen to almost twice their regular size. Got some of that down but it is bad enough to cause him pain. Sent March 3 ...