Confections For Cats

Following the feeling of being alone from the last post, I don’t believe anyone other than me ever took Mathew for his appointments over at the Palliative Clinic. Those would include appointments with Dr. Knight, the Pain and Palliative Doctor and the appointments with the counselors. Outpatient chemo was the most frightening to me and it was always just Mathew and me. Once I thought Mathew’s Dad would be able to come and be with him. Texts between me and Arpie Do you know any upcoming dates  for chemo or Dr Reed? Recvd April 28 Yes. Thursday he goes for outpatient chemo.  First bloodwork and stop by Sarcoma Clinic  for appointment with Dr. Reed before going  to infusion which is on the 4th floor.  I need to go look at times. Sent April 28 Bloodwork   10:45 Dr. Reed    11:30 Then to chemo He will be in chemo  for 4 hours Sent April 28 This Thursday. Recvd April 28 Yes, sorry Sent April 28 Forgot. I have a doctor's app

Mathew spent a lot of time trying to be positive and prayerful. And I am realizing this as I go through his journal, and I remind you that I have not read ahead. As I read, I write. I am realizing the emotional pain he must have felt feeling as if his body had betrayed him and he wasn’t positive enough or spiritual enough to overcome.  This is one of the problems I see and couldn’t explain to people as Mathew went through this cancer. Yes, there can be miracles and yes being positive will help. It will help with making the most of your days. But sometimes it’s impossible to be positive. To be positive when you are in so much pain you can’t think straight. To know you are in a losing battle. Because not all cancers are the same. So people, in the goodness of their hearts, would say things such as I’m praying for you Mathew. You will get through this. My Mother, Grandmother, brother etc had cancer and is fine now. The problem with this attitude is that people would pause f