I didn’t realize it at the time, how much I watched other people’s faces. I’m certain I am not unique. Most of us, even if it is on an unconscious level, are paying close attention to those around us specially when in a crisis. The classic example is portrayed in the media all the time. The expectant family in the waiting area, the doors open and the doctor strides out, often times in scrubs, removing his surgical mask as he approaches the family. Very symbolic. Everyone trying to read the expression on his face, hoping for an unspoken preview of what he will say next.
Then I wondered how other people may have seen my expressions, my face. A caregiver spends a lot of time accompanying their loved one through the hospital or doctors offices. Either walking along with them, pushing them in a wheelchair or following along as they are pushed by transport. Each situation brings it’s own feelings, too many to address in one post. These feelings and nuances of these feelings are reflected on our faces.
An example of this is explained in the post about waiting for someone to come to Mathew’s room with information and answers. How each person who came through his door must have recognized that look on our faces.
I could write a post about each feelings/expression, but the one I am thinking about today is an expression I saw on a strangers face as she accompanied a loved one being discharged after a long hospital stay. As soon as I saw her I thought to myself “I know how she is feeling, I recognized that expression.” It was one of vindication, not quite triumph, mixed with joy.
I remember feeling that way, the first time Mathew was discharged from Moffitt after almost five weeks in the hospital. I felt that way the first time Mathew was able to walk into Moffitt for his appointments and not be pushed in a wheelchair.
The story of Mathew’s journey through soft tissue Sarcoma can be told just by his face.
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