From Mathew's Journal, Thoughts and Feelings of a Young Man with Sarcoma

Again, the outer world for Mathew and his inner world from his journal.

Texts between me and Mat

Are you awake? Look at the pillbox

in the room. One has pills.

Plus your powder. Plus in the

fridge in cooler are your IVs. Looks

like it’s a two part deal, put on

desk in bedroom.

Going to Walmart to find a

watch cap for you.

Sent 3-26-14

KK. Sounds good.

Rec’d 3-26-14

Everything ok?

Sent 3-26-14

Everything is ok.

Rec’d 3-26-14

Stopping to put in gas.

Need sweethearts?

Sent 3-26-14

Hard sprees if they have them.

If not, cinnamon buttons.

If not, sweethearts.

Rec’d 3-26-14

K. See you in about 15

Sent 3-26-14

From Mathew’s Journal

Later today I meet with the head honcho Sarcoma doctor.

His name is Dr. Reed and I’ve only met him once so far

in the treatment process.

Whenever I meet with the doctors I have felt at a distinct disadvantage.

drugged up and lying in a bed

trying to keep my wits and other mental facilities about me.

Knocking things over with shaky hands,

“Yes sirs, no sirs, Yes Ma’ams, No Ma’ams, One last questions and Thank you”

It’s all blurring together and I have a

I can’t sleep - I feel 1,000 feet away from

my body, but I can hear my heart

pounding like a ritual drum.

The sound of the train horn.

The sound of its wheels on the track.

My abdomen is hurting on and off,

I hope that it gets better.

Comments

Replace the 3 Lumen Pic Line with a Port

Mathew's 3 Lumen Pic Line was replaced with a Power P.A.C. Both Mathew and I were given Medical I.D. cards to carry at all times. I have mentioned before that texting from the DRC is almost impossible. The staff told me it used to be the X-ray department so the walls are leaded. Again, the phone tree would have helped so much. I texted the following information to my niece, my sister and Mathew’s Dad and Stepmom. And probably Joseph and Carlos. I know that could have been reduced to two texts, three at the most. At the time I didn’t know about group messaging as my phone was an old Android. Texts Between me and Diane Hi. We are at the hospital early because Mat is in a lot of pain. We think the bill stent may have moved. Sent 3-31-14 Because he was NPO for other procedure they should be able to fix today. Sent 3-31-14 In the DRC sending texts is almost impossible so if you don’t hear from me for a while don’t worry. If ...

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From Mathew’s Journal 4-5-14 “I lie awake in my pain bed metallic noises chirping from my strange computer companion”

Hair Loss After Chemo Part II, Mom's Point of View

Mathew always had awesome hair. Rock and roll hair. When he first started treatment, they shaved his head. He still wasn't bald, plus it represented the beginning of treatment. It was temporary until the cancer was gone and he was well again. Before treatment started, Mathew was so sick I wondered how he would accept the change. He hadn't wanted anyone seeing him when he was first hospitalized. But I was surprised how quickly he adjusted to the new look. Then when treatment started and his hair fell out it coincided with the tumor responding to the chemo, so overall he looked so much better than he had for a long time. Less bloated and healthier color. I was so happy he was responding to the treatment, that being bald didn't bother me. I'm a Mom, I thought he looked terrific. Mathew was dismayed over the bald look at first. It made him appear younger, and since he also lost his eyebrows and eyelashes, he referred to it as that ...

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