From Mathew's Journal, 3-21-14

From Mathew’s Journal

3-21-14

Three times now I have woken up thinking I was being talked to.

The first time when I was starting chemo and they were giving me blood. I dreamt I was someone else, talking to a group of friends. When I awoke I had the distinct impression that the packet of blood was talking to me. And I could almost see it glowing in my mind’s eye.

The second two times was when I was lying on the couch and it was late and I dozed off. I awoke and Sequel is nudging against me “I thought you had left. I heard rumors of such ??coming back to this home. Could it be you? Could it be you? Yes, it is you! You’re back! You’re back.”

I’ve worked myself into a frenzy with note taking and trying to organize everything.

My anxiety starts to cripple me and I decide to take an Ativan.

I bathe myself with baby wipes and look in the mirror.

“You’re 24 years old with a rare type of cancer. It would be strange if you had it all figured out.”

?? I can’t figure out this word.

Remeber that Sequel is one of his cats.

Mathew's handwriting gradually improves as he receives chemo and the tumor shrinks.

Comments

Replace the 3 Lumen Pic Line with a Port

Mathew's 3 Lumen Pic Line was replaced with a Power P.A.C. Both Mathew and I were given Medical I.D. cards to carry at all times. I have mentioned before that texting from the DRC is almost impossible. The staff told me it used to be the X-ray department so the walls are leaded. Again, the phone tree would have helped so much. I texted the following information to my niece, my sister and Mathew’s Dad and Stepmom. And probably Joseph and Carlos. I know that could have been reduced to two texts, three at the most. At the time I didn’t know about group messaging as my phone was an old Android. Texts Between me and Diane Hi. We are at the hospital early because Mat is in a lot of pain. We think the bill stent may have moved. Sent 3-31-14 Because he was NPO for other procedure they should be able to fix today. Sent 3-31-14 In the DRC sending texts is almost impossible so if you don’t hear from me for a while don’t worry. If ...

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2-28-15 From the Notebook Fluid on right side of lung Needs to be drained, done from the back Can be done bedside Send out for testing CAUSE? could be a bodily reaction - most likely this because fluid wasn’t present when he arrived or could be tumor has entered the lung. Mathew had been complaining about his right shoulder hurting (this was from the fluid on his lung). He thought it was from the previous October when he was taken by ambulance from work when they thought he was having seizures. He wondered if the EMT's had hurt his shoulder when restraining him. He will reference this in his music and writing. A local oncologist is brought in who says he will be starting Mathew’s treatment. More news on the diagnosis: -Neg for lymphoma -not traditional carcinoma -uncommon sarcoma -pancreas -looking for rare cancers Again my ignorance, I thought that a rare cancer would get more results. Backward thinking. Here is a photo of t...

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