The first few days at home Mathew spent a lot of time on the couch. He was still too uncomfortable to lay flat on a bed. He also had trouble sleeping.
He had been loaned a laptop (his had broken before his diagnosis) and he was able to spend time on social media, stream TV shows he thought would make him laugh and listen to music.
The loan of the laptop (from his step-sister’s Dad) was one of the things that made a tremendous difference in his last year of life. My sister Kathleen moving him and his cats into her home was another.
So many people supported us in many ways. Some offered to run errands, even run down to Moffitt to pick up medications for us. Cards with messages of love and support. Money, gas cards (we racked up the miles going back and forth), grocery gift cards and many more I will mention as I go along.
In fact, one of the first things Mathew and I did was start a list in order to start writing thank-you cards. For some reason, we, and especially I, thought we could somewhat continue with our lives during all of this. After all, we all know people going through cancer treatment that continued to work, go to school etc. We would find out, that this journey was our lives.
One doctor at Moffitt told me Mathew’s treatment wasn’t much better than the treatment for leukemia or a bone marrow transplant. And I knew from seeing my sister Beth go through the bone marrow transplant that you have to remove yourself from the rest of the world. The same doctor also told me that for Mathew’s cancer treatment, having a full-time caregiver was imperative.
So, we hit the ground running with that first trip home. Mathew was catching up on his journal, making plans to work on his writing and his music and to keep up with the thank-yous. I was disinfecting the house each day. I would vacuum (because of the cats and my sister had dogs on her side of the house), wipe down and clean everything in the bathroom. Door knobs, toilet handles, faucets anything that Mathew would touch. I used the second bathroom in the house.
The same throughout the entire house. Anything Mathew would touch, door knobs, light switches, TV controls, etc. Cleaned and disinfected.
My sister, Kathleen, was managing an antique shop in downtown Dade City. Top Drawer Antiques. The owner of the shop, Jo Larkin, gave Kathleen permission to set up dealer space in the shop where anyone could donate items to sell as a fundraiser for Mathew. Many of the antique dealers in the shop participated. This went on the entire time. Her husband, owner of Bob Larkin Construction sent an employee over to install a handrail in the shower so Mathew would be safe while showering.
We even imagined we would make handmade thank-you cards! I know we sent some out and I did more later, but I still have a box of cards I need to respond to, it’s been three years.
One of the things Mathew decided on, was the picture of himself he wanted to use, maybe put it in the shop along with the items that were for sale. This is the picture.
Later he would take another and add Penny Cat, which is the photo he used when he created his Confections for Cats Facebook page.
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