About this Blog, A Journey Through Sarcoma

Confections for Cats, A Journey through Sarcoma is a chronicle of my son's journey through Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Sarcoma. It is intended to educate and inspire by using Mathew’s thoughts and feelings, dreams and fears through a variety of mediums; art, music, and writing. Through factual experience, what we learned and what we wish we had known. Mathew’s desire was to give meaning to his journey and in the process help anyone else on a similar path.

The last possible explanation in my mind for my son’s health problems was cancer. Even the words “the scan shows a large mass” didn’t lead me to conclude cancer and when the cancer diagnosis was confirmed, I still wasn’t prepared.

My Mother is a breast cancer survivor and my sister Elizabeth passed away three years after her breast cancer diagnosis.

I thought I knew what cancer treatment and living with cancer looked like, but none of us could imagine or be prepared for how all semblance of routine and normalcy had already been taken away.

It was eleven months from Mathew’s diagnosis to his passing. I will cover this time period in approximately 500 posts, 3 to 4 posts a week including pictures, excerpts from Mathew’s journal, his poetry and more. I will utilize guest bloggers or interviews with doctors, pharmacists and other experts for more information and explanations.

This blog will be unique in that it will cover the entire journey. When Mathew and I searched for information/personal experiences for Sarcomas, the blogs ended abruptly and often didn’t have what we had hoped to find.

With that in mind, Mathew and I took pictures, made notes, journaled. Journaling was Mathew’s nature already, but he had the added intention of helping anyone that followed in the same or similar journey.

This will be a work in progress. It has been a difficult three years since Mathew passed away and working on this comes with its own pain, but it is a promise I made to my son.

I will be using Mathew’s journals, poetry, music, texts, and pictures along with my notes and other's notes about our experiences.

I haven’t had the courage to read Mat’s journals yet but as I do I will add (them) in so previously published blog posts will be updated.

So return often for more information, pictures or links as I open up boxes of medical records that I packed up but haven’t been able to look at before now.

Consider this a first draft in motion. This is told from my point of view and Mathew’s.

Replace the 3 Lumen Pic Line with a Port

Mathew's 3 Lumen Pic Line was replaced with a Power P.A.C. Both Mathew and I were given Medical I.D. cards to carry at all times. I have mentioned before that texting from the DRC is almost impossible. The staff told me it used to be the X-ray department so the walls are leaded. Again, the phone tree would have helped so much. I texted the following information to my niece, my sister and Mathew’s Dad and Stepmom. And probably Joseph and Carlos. I know that could have been reduced to two texts, three at the most. At the time I didn’t know about group messaging as my phone was an old Android. Texts Between me and Diane Hi. We are at the hospital early because Mat is in a lot of pain. We think the bill stent may have moved. Sent 3-31-14 Because he was NPO for other procedure they should be able to fix today. Sent 3-31-14 In the DRC sending texts is almost impossible so if you don’t hear from me for a while don’t worry. If ...

A Cancer Poem by Mathew Rodgers 2014

From Mathew’s Journal 4-5-14 “I lie awake in my pain bed metallic noises chirping from my strange computer companion”

Hair Loss After Chemo for Sarcoma, My Son's Point of View

I can't imagine or pretend to know how it feels to lose your hair because you have cancer and the chemo causes your hair to fall out. I only know what I saw with Mathew and years ago, my sister Elizabeth's experience as they lost their hair to chemotherapy. But it was something that affected Mathew more than just the initial hair loss, it had nuances. Here is a journal entry. It's short but I think it speaks volumes. MATHEW’S JOURNAL 5-23-14 Lately, I’ve been envious of people’s hair. Well, I guess not envious of other people’s hair but missing mine. I told my Mom about it and expressed to her that I was afraid I was falling prey to vanity. She expressed the idea that I may be missing having hair because it’s part of being healthy. I do miss having a life and at the same time, I’m afraid that I may never have a full life again or that I may lose what’s left of the one I have. - I’ve been thinking about dying a lot lately. I don’t know wh...

Confections For Cats

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